Movies revolving around death matches are hardly new, somewhere deep within our souls lying deepset murderous and gladiatorial instincts. We have appreciated and applauded such films, encompassing both, the brain-drained types like the Running Man salvaged only by the presence of Schwarzenegger, and the pure in-your-face horror types, Battle Royale. Battle Royale deserves a post in its own right, the central premise of it all being sick to the core, you having been forced to watch a class of high school kids kill off each other in a 3-day deadly game which would have only one winner ........... and survivor.
The Condemned is the next in line to follow suit, borrowing elements from both the aforementioned and banking heavily on its WWE fandom (with Steve Austin, Nathan Jones in it and having Vince McMahon as its producer, I expected to see nothing more than a wrestling match 'off-rink'). And we have a movie with a Schwarzenegger-ish backstory simultaneously incorporating the uniquely Japanese concept of having kids kill off each other on a deserted island, in the foreground. Oops, sorry just a slight amendment here. The kids have been replaced with 10 muscle-bound maniacs on the death-row, who are gonna die anyway, so why not kill them and make some money off it? Hollywood probably decided to choose the brazen bloodshed generated by giant redneck truckers over a subtle horror and psychological trauma u'd get by watching the innocent kids lose their innocence and kill, their horrible dark bellies surfacing when we don't want them to.
And over here, we have a bunch of characters we could hardly care about, doing what they do best.....killing. Lets not even get onto the performance. The only noteworthy performer here was Vinnie Jones. He makes u hate him enough and his Brit accent suits his part as an SAS agent to a tee. 'Stone Cold' was just stoned-cold and looks just the same and walks the same, both on and off rink. Wrestling fans would dig this no doubt, but I've been outta that sphere faar to long to show any form of appreciation to gimmicks. Nathan Jones, urgghh!!! Has he ever, EVER had a line in any flick?? And we have two token females thrown into this tesosterone-charged flick, one being raped and killed and the other using her sexuality at its best to screw people over. Nothing new there.
You still wanna condemn yourself to a coupla 'clinically dead' hours by watching it? Don't say I didnt warn you.
*peace*
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